Embrace and Pursue Your Erotic Inner Life

Untangle yourself from the knots of socialization, shame, and uncertainty that keep you from the intimate life you desire. Work with an experiential sex and dating coach to help you get there.

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There is no one right way to experience intimacy in sex and relationships.

Yet, many of us feel too ashamed or embarrassed to explore and articulate our sexual desires, especially if they don’t reflect societal norms.

You may feel like sex and relationships are things that should come naturally to you, or something you can figure out on your own.

You may be unable to recognize, navigate, and articulate your boundaries or what is triggering you, keeping you stuck in patterns of response that don’t serve you.

But, when you don’t address your sex and relationship challenges, this can leave you feeling undesirable, lonely, broken, hopeless, and even unsafe in your own body.

You keep telling yourself that…

It’s your fault you’re experiencing these challenges around sex and relationships.
If you could only [fill in the blank], then you could attract the right people or be worthy of love and intimacy.
You’re stuck and there’s nothing you can do to change your circumstances.
You don’t have sexual needs or you can’t ask for them because it’s a sign of weakness.
You don’t have boundaries or don’t know you’re allowed to have them.

But none of this is true.

You are worthy of the sex and relationship you want TODAY, not when all the stars align or when you’ve fixed the thing you think makes you unfuckable or undateable.

You CAN find your voice to ask for what you want and express what you don’t want.

You CAN learn to listen to your body to discover (or re-discover) your inner erotic self.

You CAN gain the skills and confidence to have the kinds of sex and relationships that turn you on most.

You may just need some support to get there. (I know I did!)

Let’s Jump On a Call!

How good would it feel to…

Have the kind of sex that you’ve always fantasized about.
Show up to dates excited and confident without being overly invested in the outcome.
Deal with challenges in your relationship in a way that deepens intimacy, rather than creates distance.
Know exactly what you want in sex and relationships and how to get it.
Have a deep sense of agency as you navigate dating, sex and relationships.

It’s time to get…

U N T A N G L E D

A 6-month 1:1 coaching program that helps you understand when and how to get out of your own way, step into and embody your erotic self, and have the kind of sex and relationships you’ve always wanted.

Untangled creates opportunities for you to explore your desires and learn through experiences in the coaching space (within boundaries). As an experiential sex and dating coach I emphasize being vulnerable and empathetic in connections, always going at your pace. Through these 1:1 coaching sessions, support via text/email in between sessions, and personalized (and fun) homework, we untangle you from the knots of socialization, shame, and uncertainty that keep you from the intimate life you desire.

I’ve been where you are and know what it’s like to struggle with sexuality and self-doubt and to yearn for something more in sex and relationships.

Hi! I’m Gretchen,

Most of my adult life I felt unattractive, undesirable, broken sexually, and incapable of being in a sustained, emotionally vulnerable intimate relationship.

I rarely flirted with anyone because I was convinced no one would respond, but I was also scared they would. When I did, I would become tense and defensive. Whenever men showed interest in me (or I just thought they might), I would feel an intense need to hide.

When I tried to untangle this through talk therapy I was unsuccessful, and after 8 years of sessions, I felt hopeless. By the time I hit 40, I had been on a total of a dozen dates and only had sex a few times.⠀

Finally, it dawned on me: if I could solve this thing with intellect alone, I would’ve already done it. I needed something beyond talk therapy. I needed help reconnecting with my body, the pleasure it can bring, and with my sexuality on an instinctual, embodied level.⠀

I needed a guide to figure out what I desired, to find and use my voice so I could learn to ask for what I wanted and to articulate my boundaries. Someone I could experiment with and actually use my voice with – not simply be told that’s what I should do out in the world…sometime…should I ever find someone to practice with.⠀

And I found all of that when I discovered intimacy coaching with an experiential component. ⠀

When I went for my free consultation with the coach I would go on to work with, there were so many things I wanted to shift around dating and my sexuality.

Here are just a few things I shared with him…

Too passive during sex, both verbally & physically
Unable to orgasm with someone else
Shame about my body – I was convinced I was undesirable
Shame about my overall lack of experience at never having been in a long-term relationship
Social anxiety when dating
Discomfort with people seeing me as a sexual person
Unable to verbalize what I want, and even unclear as to what it is that I do want

Can you relate?

Today, I’m deeply connected to an innate sense of my own beauty and sexiness, and ALL of those issues that used to cause me so much pain and sadness are no longer true for me.

I’m now an experiential sex and dating coach in Seattle, Wa, certified in the Somatica^Ⓡ Method of sex and relationship coaching.

I’m living proof – change is ALWAYS possible.

How to Go from Knotty to Naughty in 6-Months

Sign up for UNTANGLED and you’ll get:

Six (6)* months of support from me
Three (3) sessions a month, for a total of 18 sessions [$5400 value]
Email/text access to me between sessions for on-the-spot support [$1800 value]
Customized homework to do between sessions — don’t worry, my homework is almost always juicy! [Priceless!]
Recordings of sessions, if desired

* If six months of work isn’t the right fit for you, we will craft a program that best meets you where you’re at.

BONUSES

When you sign-up for the six-month program, you get these bonuses:

A 90-minute strategy call to jointly map out the core areas of our work together [$450 value]
A 30-minute check-in midway through the program to ensure we’re using our time together in the way that best serves your needs [$150 value]
Complimentary access to the Nervous System RESET program, to develop greater stress resilience and nervous system regulation [$1200 value]

PROGRAM VALUE – $9000

COST TO YOU: Six monthly payments of $750, or $4,300 when paid in full

I want all of that – let’s book my call!

HOW WE’LL WORK TOGETHER

I believe in meeting my clients where they’re at, so there’s no cookie-cutter program or series of standard modules that I take you through in this work. Instead, we’ll create a customized program that meets the specific needs and desires you have for your intimate life.

But we won’t be starting from scratch. Through my own sexual healing journey, my many trainings, and working with clients, I’ve identified a set of capacities that every person who embodies their intimate life with full agency practices. And those capacities have become the pillars of my coaching work.

Before we meet for our strategy call, you’ll complete a brief self-assessment to reflect on where you’re at related to each of these pillars. We’ll then meet to discuss and map out the course of our work together.

In six months, we can’t go deep into all of these areas. The strategy call will allow us to identify which of these are a priority based on where you are now and what your goals are.

The pillars of a fully embodied, embraced, and experienced intimate life are:

Becoming physically embodied
Voicing your sexual and relational boundaries
Embracing what you truly need and desire in sex, dating, and/or relationships
Gaining emotional awareness and capacity for vulnerability
Having awareness of your wounds, triggers, and coping strategies
Feeling confident in your erotic/seduction knowledge and skills
Accepting yourself and a sense of your own lovability
Dealing with disappointment
Gaining nervous system awareness and greater ease of regulating it
Excavating and removing shame

While some of these may come more naturally to you than others, they can all be learned.

WHY NOW?

In my experience, what I had been doing for years didn’t get me the transformation I truly craved. It wasn’t until I took a radical step and invested in somatic-based support with an experiential sex and dating coach that I got the life I always wanted for myself.

You deserve the intimate life you want for yourself NOW.

I waited until I felt desperate to take bold action. But you don’t need to.

IT’S YOUR CHOICE…

You can keep doing the same things you’ve been doing and stay tangled up…

You can take a chance on yourself and do something different to get the intimate life you desire.

SAFEWORD CLAUSE
I believe in ongoing, active consent — in sex and in my coaching practice. This means that you always have a choice around the work we do — both what we do together in sessions and how long we work together.

I ask you to make an initial commitment to 6 months of working together because I know the kind of investment that’s needed to see the kinds of transformations you want for yourself. And, you always have agency and can walk away at any time.

Here’s what I ask. If you’ve reached a point where you think you need to end our work together earlier than expected, then use the Safeword Clause. That’s where you email or text me to set up a separate, non-session conversation to discuss why you’re considering ending our coaching work.

Coaching by nature can be confronting at times and can get uncomfortable. It’s going to bring up stuff you may have previously avoided looking at or feeling. And sometimes when that happens our instinct is to hide or to quit. Having one more non-session conversation helps us determine if that’s what’s happening and allows you to get support if it is. Understanding your reasons for ending coaching services allows you to make an informed choice about the best way forward.

And of course, if you’re a “No” on continuing to work together, whatever the reason, I will be there to support you in that too. I’m a big believer in honoring other people’s “No”. It would be great to still set up the call so we can wrap up our work together and honor all that you did during that time.

NEXT STEPS:

Click the button to schedule a free consultation.
During the consultation, we’ll find out if Untangled is the right fit for your needs.
If it’s a “yes!” I’ll share with you links to make your first payment, sign your client agreement, and book your strategy call or first session.
Then we’re off to the races and you’re on your way to the intimate life you’ve always desired!

THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR YOU IF:

You want the kind of support where you show up once a week, talk about your struggles, get some sympathy, then go home, and don’t really think too much about it again until your next session.

You’re not ready to dive deep into the work, and you’re not ready to sometimes be uncomfortable during the process. The idea of working with an experiential sex and dating coach just sounds way too challenging.

You’ve got some significant trauma in your background and have not yet worked on it with someone – my work is trauma-informed, but is not trauma therapy. If you’re in the midst of working on it with someone and you feel ready to dive into this area of your life as well, let’s talk and see what’s possible.

You’re struggling in your relationship and you’d only like help figuring out how to get your partner to change. We all have growing edges in relationships, and I’m excited to work with you on yours.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Why is the program so long? Can I just book single sessions with you?

The full program is six-months because in my experience, the kinds of transformations I’m most excited about leading people through take time.

Occasionally, I’ll encounter someone who gets a big shift from just a few sessions, but that’s not common.

Getting the things people most desire (greater ease in dating, better confidence in sexual competency, less tension or pain in navigating relationships, more amazing sexual experiences, etc) means shifting lifelong patterns in how we show up in sex and relationships. These patterns are instinctual and were formed at a young age to keep ourselves safe and psychologically whole.

We absolutely can change them, and it takes time and a commitment to keep showing up for yourself throughout the process, even when it’s hard and uncomfortable and confronting.

But don’t worry, it’s not all hard work! I laugh in every session with my clients and we tap into the power that pleasure gives us to do things differently.

How much does this cost?

The full program costs $750 a month, for a total of $4500. If you pay in full before the strategy call, the price drops to $4,300.

That’s a lot! I’m not sure I can justify spending that much on my sex life.

Only you know how much your pleasure and the deep intimacy and connection with your partner a robust sex life brings you is worth to you.

What’s true for me is that this work transformed how I felt in my body, about myself, and how I move through the world. I walk around with less shame, a greater awareness of my triggers and how to move through them in a healthy way. I have a greater facility at forming and joyfully maintaining intimate connections. I’m having the kind of sex I only ever fantasized about before, and never thought was possible for me. For me, this is priceless and worth all the time and money I invested in myself to get here.

What’s finally shifting your inner life so you can get the intimate life you’ve always desired worth to you?

How does experiential sex and dating coaching work?

Experiential sex and dating coaching emphasizes being vulnerable and empathetic in our connections. This work focuses on the importance of moving beyond shame. As your coach, I’ll help you learn how to stay connected to and aware of what your body is experiencing and communicating to you.

Sex and intimacy coaching is also relational – so rather than sitting across from you as an objective “expert,” I bring my own emotional vulnerability and erotic sensibilities into a relationship with you.

You will learn and grow from the connection and the experiences we share together in the coaching space. Working with me as your sex and dating coach will show you how you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and connection. You’re lovable and desirable just as you are.

How do I get started?

Book the free consult call and I’ll lead you through the rest of the process. It’s that easy!

What if I’m interested in this work but I’m not sure 6 months is right for me?

Book the consult and let’s talk about what you’d like to shift in your sex, dating, and/or relational life.

I only ever offer the six-month program to folx I really believe would benefit from that depth of work. If that’s not the right fit for where you’re at right now and what you’d like to shift, then we’ll discuss other options for you.

And booking the call doesn’t obligate you to working with me for six months, or even for one hour! It’s simply an opportunity for us to explore the possibilities together and to see what might be the best fit for you.

Do you have other questions about me or my work? Check out this other FAQ on my website.

P.S. – a final note

I struggled with my self-perceptions as a sexual and desirable person for 30 years.

I’d beat my head against the wall trying to show up differently in dating and intimacy, failing every time.

For years, I told myself it wasn’t that big of a deal that my problems weren’t that deep…

And yet, I was miserable. Each year, it felt more hopeless.

I reached the point where I realized, it’s now or never. After 30 years of feeling this way, I finally got the right kind of help.

I don’t want you to wait 30 years to enjoy your body and intimacy – in whatever ways you want to.

If any of this resonates with you, it’s time to book a free consultation call.

If nothing else, we’ll have a good conversation.

Let’s Chat & See If We’re a Good Match

TESTIMONIALS

Jill

“Gretchen changed my life and I don’t say that as an ad for her business. She truly did. She normalized everything about sex for me. She also helped me see how old stereotypes were holding me back and she celebrated who I am.
My sex life was good but I knew it could be more exciting and I wanted to explore more but carried a lot of guilt and shame. My dating life was stalled and I had some relationships that didn’t work out and Gretchen helped me understand why they weren’t working.
Nothing is off limits to talk about and she is so open and easy to share with. She celebrates the parts of me that I forget to. She has tools to help keep me grounded that I think many women would find helpful to be more in touch and Intune with their bodies.”

Rebecah, Nervous System RESET client

“Doing the Nervous System RESET with Gretchen has been a revelation. I have lived with high anxiety since I can remember and always assumed it was just a part of who I am. But with Gretchen I am learning tools to recognize and calm the anxiety IN THE MOMENT that it’s happening!
I always feel held and seen by Gretchen. There were several times when my system started to feel overwhelmed during our sessions. Rather than pushing me to get through a set amount of material in a set amount of time, she always slowed to my pace. She often identified the overwhelm before I even realized it was happening.
Gretchen is a warm and welcoming guide and I would recommend her to anyone who deals with anxiety!”

Tamara

“I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that hour with you.
It helped me feel confident enough to broach the topic with [my partner] and ask him how he preferred that I bring it up (regularly) to increase his comfort level in this area. It opened layers of conversation with him to levels that we’ve never gone near in 3 years together.
Our intimacy multiplied drastically that evening and I learned so much about him and myself. It gave me so much hope for our relationship because again, he showed that spark that I’ve seen now and again whenever I’ve had the courage to get really vulnerable and express my needs and desires in our relationship. I’m so grateful!”

Susan

“Meeting with you every two weeks is good for my soul.”

Leah

“Gretchen has a wonderful presence for working through the emotional dams and blockages, her words were healing, they catalyzed energetic and emotional releases for me. She also LOVES this work and has tremendous knowledge of the resources, skills, and techniques to help you further your journey.”
“I wholeheartedly recommend Gretchen, if you are ready to embrace your full wonderful sexual presence and bid the shame that binds you goodbye!”

Laura

“Talking about sex/your sex life with a complete stranger sounds awkward, uncomfortable, agonizing, and bizarre. But not with Gretchen. She immediately puts you at ease and meets you at your own comfort level.
She allows a space where it is safe to be honest about how you feel and how you WANT to feel. I didn’t realize that experiences in my past were really keeping me stuck in the present. But Gretchen was understanding and helpful.
She made it clear how sex can have an impact on your all around well-being, and she provided tools to care for your sex life the same way you care for your physical health or mental health. If you are considering working with Gretchen, make the leap. Do it.”

KC

“Gretchen is amazing. Easy to talk to, accepting, and patient. She has a huge heart! She helped me break through a huge trauma in a single session and deepen my relationship with my husband.”

Let’s do this!

Untangled: Knotty to Naughty 1:1 Coaching